Saturday, June 26, 2010

Home Alone 4

Some of my favorite movies as a youngin' were the home alone videos. I loved the ingenuity and brilliant schemes the heroic youngster came up with in his battle against the malevolent dunces who wished him harm.

The last two days I have been home alone--well almost alone, my dog Sherman has been my ever-present companion. I almost wish some bad guy(s) had tried to rob my house. I could have used the entertainment. Instead, I found out just how miserable it is to be home alone. I LOVE people and with my Mom and Brother out of town I think I regressed as a social human being.

I guess I did the whole Tom Hanks Castaway thing, I had very stimulating conversations with myself. It's funny how I could always counter my brilliant arguments--It was almost as though the other party could read my mind. I entertained myself in ways that may seem odd to those who are introverted and have long since discovered socially appropriate ways of keeping bordom at bay. One such event was my dance-a-thon with the broom as I blasted music through the house and had a fantastic time salsa dancing/sweeping the house. My dance partner and I swept the competition and were very pleased with how clean the dance floor was when the music stopped. I could go on for days about all the interesting and socially disturbing things I did in search of entertainment, but alas, it is time for bed because I have work in the morning.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Is this ironic?

I work retail in a very large three story building. This building has state of the art security measures against earthquakes. It was explained to me a long time ago that "The building is on rollers so that it will sway in the event of a large earthquake." Today I counted 13 customers who asked whether we were having an earthquake. This was over the span of about 8 hours. To explain why the customers asked that question I have to give a little bit of background on the daily vibrations we feel in our department when there are a lot of people in the store. So here's the low down, when a couple hundred people come in to this state of the art building and start trooping around looking for fashionable clothing and all that jazz, the building shakes shivers and rolls--but we're safe as can be from an earthquake. So for those of you who missed it, that means we experience earthquakes on the daily so that we won't have to experience an earthquake. Or in still other words: Our fear of earthquakes has created a never ending earthquake.

I'm always down to boogie, so I just sway to the sound of the music and smile as I help the countless startled customers who are sure the building is going to fall on their perfectly coiffed hair. I guess I kind of like the swaying, it makes me feel like I am on a ship travelling to financial security and fiscal freedom. And indeed I am!

Are you tired of Seal yet? I sure hope not!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

I'm no Trekie

Star Trek! Oh how I loathed that show. I have never been a T.V. guy. The thought of sitting down for hours upon hours watching a colorful box makes me antsy. I much prefer the outdoors. God didn't bless me with a badonkadonk, which I have always taken as a sign that I wasn't meant to spend much time sitting--and I haven't.

Back to Star Trek. My dad loved that show. He thought it was the coolest thing. Even back then (I guess I must have been 5-8) I knew I wasn't into that silly space crap. I have no interest in outer space, never have, probably never will. Space has always seemed so cold and empty to me. I love THIS world, so why the heck would I try to explore elsewhere and risk meeting aliens and prove my best friend right. Anyhooo I could give you all my anti-space lecture some other time. For now I'll just show you a video that probably would have made me a Star Trek fan, had it been anything like the actual show.

p.s. Sorry for not posting in a while. I was exhausted from finals. And now I work full time. So I will do my best to post more.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Where will I meet her?

My best friend and I love to ask silly questions to each other. We basically live life as though it were one long slumber party. You know what I mean. It's those questions you ask at a sleepover: If you could be trapped on a desert island with one girl, If you could eat only one food for the rest of your life, If you could......You get the picture. Well, the other day I had a question for my friend. The question was, "Where do you think you'll meet your future wife?" Basically I was asking where you'd ideally meet the woman you'd be willing to spend the rest of your life loving.

Most of the time when I ask hypothetical questions, I am hoping the person I ask will turn the question back on me so that I can elaborate on my pre-thought out and clever answer (well, I usually think it's clever). So naturally when I asked my best friend the question I was ready with my response. My answer to where I thought I'd meet my future wife was well thought out. I said I saw myself meeting her volunteering somewhere, either with people in need or the homeless or with people (probably children) who are cognitively challenged. I answered this way because these are things I know I want in my future wife. I want someone who cares. Someone who isn't selfish and considers other people's needs above her own. Someone who is intimately acquainted with the hurt and pain in the world and doesn't turn a blind eye to it. I don't believe that the world's problems can be fixed in my lifetime, but I do believe that I am responsible for doing my part to end them. And I think the perfect place to find the person who will fight by my side in this battle against injustice is probably somewhere volunteering. But things like this are serendipitous and they must remain that way or they won't be special.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

So bad, yet so good?

I like the worst music. But the dancing in this video makes me smile. Sorry for the lack of quality posting as of late. It's finals week here at Poly, and eloquence is hard to come by when you're getting little sleep. If you want some good stuff to read check out my "Featured blogs." My friends are far better at this whole thing than I.


This commercial makes me jealous of someone who poops their pants. So why is it banned?

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Who am I?

The question we should all ask ourselves. The everchanging evolution of self. I'll be different the day I die. Michele Riehm (The very wise and pretty mom of my best friend) has a sage bit of advice as to how one should "find themselves." According to Michele it is as simple as taking one hand and placing it on the butt cheek of your choice and taking the remaining hand and putting it on the remaining butt cheek. Viola! There you are! Stop being a dumbass and go take the world by storm. Now I may not put much stock into the whole "finding oneself" BS that the new age loony tune characters on daytime television shows tell us we need. However, I do believe it is very important to have a clear idea/concept of self.

I think that having this blog has helped me get to know myself a little bit better. I know that often I just sit here pondering my innermost thoughts and saving twice the number of posts than the ones I have posted. I don't intend on ever posting half of the stuff I write about, for the most part I am just happy to have discovered some new part of me. See we all think that we know ourselves; that is till our ipods break and we are left in the silence with our thoughts- what a scary/delightful time that is. So I have a challenge for you this coming week. Leave the ipod at home. Let your mind wander and see where it takes you. You might be pleasantly surprised.

It's been a while since I gave you a song. I know this song is rather old news. But it has new life for me because I saw Cage The Elephant live at Cal Poly and they performed this and a few other gems. I burnt my nose standing in the sun and I couldn't hear anything for an hour afterward but even so, I still had this song stuck in my head. So enjoy!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Childlike joy

Now this blog is not one where I intend to spout off a bunch of rhetoric pertaining to my moral beliefs regarding certain issues. But today I read something that angered me in ways I can't describe with mere words. I read a pro-choice advocate blog giving reasons why abortion is necessary and should be a protected right of women. One of this unnamed idiot's views for why abortion is justifiable was that it would prevent our society from "having a bunch of deformed" people and would "save" society from the complications that certain abnormalities would pose on the "normal" populace. I wish I could meet this asshole in a dark alley. Who of us is "normal" and who gets to decide when someone is a hindrance to someone else? I have spent enough time around people with special needs to know that just because they look different, think different, or act different, none of that negates their humanity. I would argue that people with special needs have a joy unmatched by those of us living the vita activa. I personally think that we who are sound in mind and body ought to spend a minute and ponder why we're so unhappy and where can we find happiness that is not circumstance based.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Sexy Stalker?

This video has been one of my favorite music videos for a long time. I'm thinking of doing a top ten music videos list and when I do I am sure this one will make the cut. So after seeing this video again after a long time I had an epiphany: Why not accept sexy stalker applications? So this is me posting the job opening for an extremely attractive woman to stalk me. What a dream world I live in! Actually, correction what a dream world the maker of that music video lives in.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


Women, my absolute favorite subject. I have exactly five women that are unnamed memories. Women who I saw exactly one time yet their beauty scarred me, left an indelible image in my mind. Each time I was permitted the scantest glance possible. And after I recover my breath (long after they are gone) I am left wondering how anyone is an atheist. How could anyone look at women and believe that the best artist of all time didn't sculpt their majestic form and breathe life into their rose red lips. I can fathom the antithesis of the atheist argument; perhaps women are gods. I know the five faces that haunt me would make a goddess turn green with envy. The point of this whole discussion? Well, I guess I just love to remember the girl Brandon and I stared at with mouths agape as our ice cream cones dripped on the hot July pavement. Even 10 year olds know a good thing when they see it. I prayed to be stronger, handsomer, taller, and older so I could look in those brown eyes flaked with gold and propose on the spot. Forget ice cream, Mr. Frosty is delicious and PB wouldn't be the same without it. But the real reason Mr. Frosty's has been my favorite ice cream place for the last 10 years isn't because they have the "Banana Boat sunday" or because it is a stone's throw from the beach, or that I conned my parents into getting me ice cream every time we went within a five mile radius of the establishment. The real reason is some anonymous girl who I saw once when I was 10 and have been unable to forget since that day.