Consumed

Obsessed is an understatement. I have two speeds: Balls to the wall or not at all. I used to throw all of my existence at sport, soccer being the main medium of my obsessed fury. I recently was forced to temporarily step off the sports fields due to injury. I have handled this switch by changing lanes. Instead of existing solely in the realm of sport I reside in a land of academics. You see as I write this I sit in the Cal Poly library, as I have for the last nine hours studying.

So what is it that feeds this obsession? Well, as far as I can tell it is my pursuit of a life that feels just out of my reach. You see I am just a mule with a carrot just in front of my big ass nose. That carrot is a wonderful career, a large paycheck, a huge home, a ravishing wife, and a couple of insanely cute kids. So for now if I just push it harder, put more time in, sleep less and work more then I will be the stubborn mule that actually got the carrot dangled in front of him.

I just want to be successful.

Bonkers

You know what I think is bonkers? Well it is my blog so since you're still reading I'm going to assume you have some remote interest in what my deranged ideas about the world are.

I think men that propose to their girlfriends by way of putting a ring inside some sort of food are pathetic. Is this what passes for romance and seduction nowadays. Is this how you want a woman to decide to spend the rest of her life with you. If by some series of unfortunate events I did propose by way of ring in food then I would pray that she would choke and die. This way at least I didn't have to live with the knowledge that she has told all her friends about my pathetic lack of creativity.

I'm sorry ladies and gents, it is with repugnance that I look at such poorly thought out, dull attempts at romance. I believe that we can do better, and by we I mean me. After all, this is pretty much all I do all day; dream up ways to make the most beautiful woman in the world fall helplessly in love with me.

On the other hand, I secretly thank God for where the bar has been set by my peers. I should be thanking these fools for their maladroit ideas about love. It is because of them that chivalry and the ancient art of courtship are all but forgotten. The few who remember and practice these notions are worshiped in romance novels. It has become so rare for men to be truly romantic that women can't even imagine it anymore, because of this a few keen authors have relocated these attributes into imaginary creatures (twilight anyone?). Alright, this probably made limited sense, but I deserve some credit for blogging considering the 3 hours of sleep I've averaged every night this week. It is ironic that I lose sleep while chasing my dreams.

The Shape Of My Heart

Tonight I held up my end of one of my new year's resolutions. I made a call that I was definitely apprehensive to make. Normally I would have planned out my every line and at least five different responses the other party would have made. But not today, today I fired from the hip. Today I was prepared to be me. Unfortunately fate didn't smile my way and though the call was made, the call was not answered. Tomorrow I try again. I don't mean to be ambiguous, but I am learning to hold my cards a bit closer to my chest; much like one of my personal heros.