Saturday, May 30, 2009

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

My favorite sound

Ok, well I should be sleeping, but I have something I need to get off my chest. Today I was sitting in class and then I heard it! "click clack clip click clack." Instantly, I was helpless. I couldn't put thoughts together because I was transfixed by what I consider the most divine sound: heels. I am completely obsessed with heels. I would love to explain further and offer some insight as to why my mind finds heels so irresistible, but I don't think I can. Those who know me well have their theories. But truth be told, I am not 100% sure why.

Dance with me:

feel alive - benny benassi

Another thought

So, while I'm on a role, I'd like to mention a pet peeve of mine. I HATE, wait, hate is not strong enough. I LOATHE when people flake out. If you say something, like say for instance: "I'll be at the game," then you better get your narrow behind there. If I ruled the world, people who sketch out would be shipped to siberia and flogged with otter pops (don't know where that came from, this is somewhat a stream of consciousness post). Nas really was on to something with the "If I ruled the world" scenario/song. More thoughts to come.

Peace out, I gottz to get my handsome sleep.

P.S. does anybody read this? Just curious.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Romantic #1

Engagement rings in food. Whoever thought that was a good idea was an idiot. Fo realz, food is made to be eaten, rings are meant to be worn. I shudder to think about the foreshadowing of retrieving a ring that you swallowed. Just a thought.

Friday, May 15, 2009


A question was asked of me today. Ok, here is the background info: My WOW mom and I were having a fine afternoon chat. My WOW mom was reflecting back on her experience at Cal Poly as she is about to graduate. She told me that she had finally come to an important conclusion on life: that everyone needed to have their own definition of success. She then explained her definition of success. For her, success is making those around her happy. So, what is my definition of success? I know for sure, my definition is not as selfless as my WOW mom's. Success is a beautiful wife that loves me. Success is a couple of kids, with toothy smiles and endless giggling. Success is going to work at a job that makes me excited to get up every morning. Success is having a fantastic large house with a pool in the backyard and a Benz in the driveway. Success is old friends. Success is a puppy with a incessantly wagging tail. Success is all this and soooooo much more. So, I guess I still don't really know what my definition for success is. I only know that I want it ALL.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

bus girl

Since my bicycles untimely demise I have been riding the bus home. On my numerous excursions on SLO transit I have observed a certain girl who rides and reads. And boy oh boy does she ever read. I haven't seen her with the same book yet. Each time it is a new book and each time she looks completely engrossed in what lies between the covers. I love a girl with an appreciation for literature. A girl who loves books is equally sexy as a woman who cooks. So I'll keep you posted on whether she cooks or not, I plan on asking her about her book next week. Wish me luck!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

girl talk

I have many doubts as to how attractive I am at 7am, however, today I must have done something right because I sure as heck caught the attention of a certain girl in my english class. Now, usually I would be concernicus (dane cook anyone?) about the unwarranted attention of a woman whom I have no interest in. Yet as I sat there in class yawning, I couldn't help but feel amused as she stared conspicuously. But my amusement soon faded and I was vexed, didn't anyone teach this girl that it is impolite to stare? As class continued, and I pondered my situation, I began to smile and realize how odd it was that I should actually catch a girl eying me. You girls are sly, guileful creatures, and are as likely to get caught looking as a guy is to get caught in panty hose and high heels; both happen, but it is a rare occurrence. I believe that girls have a sixth sense about when you are about to turn and catch them stealing a glance. This sixth sense has only evolved in women, because I know as a guy that I have been caught staring on more occasions then I like to recount, and I consider myself a particularly stealthy admirer.

I have considered the option that I am completely wrong on this whole affair. Maybe the reason girls don't get caught staring at guys is simply that they don't! Nowadays It seems like girls (I divide the whole world into girls and guys) have lost interest in guys. Now granted, we are not as easy on the eyes as the fairer sex, however, when push comes to shove, I should think it natural for at least a few of us to be deemed handsome. No?

Monday, May 11, 2009

Sleep disorder

It is just the strangest thing. Every now and then when I am very stressed I wake up convinced that my alarm has gone off. Now, this would not be at all tramatic were I getting up at say six or six thirty. However, I get up at two or three in the morning. What makes this so tramatic for me is the fact that I take a twenty minute shower, eat a full breakfast, brush my teeth, and proceed to head out the door. Upon reaching the door, I look at the time and realize that I have made a serious miscalculation. Who gets up at three a.m. when they don't have to? Meth addicts, thats who. I am not a meth addict, so why am I so confused? I need answers, I need sleep, I need to be put in a massive crib and have my mom wake me up at the end of nap time.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Otter Pops

They say the first step is admitting you have a problem, so that is what this is. This is me admitting my complete inability to resist otter pops. I have an addiction.
-200 otter pops bought at costco.
-100 eaten in three days.

In other news, I went mothers day shopping today, I totally lucked out and found these really neat earrings that I hope my mom will love. Some student made them. I envy people that can create beauty so effortlessly. I am a great admirer of beauty, however, I am not gifted in making it. In order to make up for what I lack in creation skills, I collect beautiful things. Sometimes the beautiful things I collect are not really things at all. For instance, I collect sunrises, not pictures of sunrises, MEMORIES of sunrises. A video camera or still picture cannot capture the feelings you get when you see the sun rise, or set for that matter. A memory is so vivid and has dimentions to it that manmade machines can't achieve. I could talk about this all night, but I won't, because I'm avoiding statistics. so in the words of Eminem, "Back to the lab again yo."

P.S. My newest song obsession:

I Remember (Caspa Remix) - Deadmau5

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Cribs minus MTV

Showing your abode when it is not a mansion, and the people viewing it are not holding video cameras, is considerably less glamorous.  It isn't quite the same when your "Crib" has 1.5 bathrooms.  How can you have one and a half bathrooms?  We have two toilets, in my mind that means we have two bathrooms.  I digress, the true mistique of our apt lies not in the bathroom(s) but in the clothes strewn hap hazardly around the floor.  Or how about the kitchen?  I am pretty sure, when Snoop Dogg give a tour of his crib he doesn't have to say, "The spagetti sauce on the ceiling has an explanation."  Alas, the bedroom is probably the one area that might save me.  When I give a tour, I always give the cliche line: "This is where all the action goes down."  Its true you see, though no woman (or man for that matter) has set foot in my bedroom excepting my roomate and a few close friends, there has been plenty of action in my room.  I freestyle soccer here, kicking a soccer ball repeatedly through the air mere feet from my desk where I continue the "action" everyday, with countless english papers and other burdensome bits of boring prose.  This apartment--with its marinara ceiling and messy unkempt atmosphere--will always hold a special place in my heart.  It will because it was my first apartment, and good, bad, or ugly, this was where I traversed the tricky incline that is true adulthood.  Here in this apartment, I paid my first rent, electric bill and cable and somehow managed to smile as I watched my bank account stagger.  The Bat Cave will go down in my history book as the place where Jesse Madera went from slacker to macker.

Oh, and here is what I am currently listening to.  

100 Yard Dash - Raphael Saadiq

Saturday, May 2, 2009

In For The Kill (Skreams Lets Get Ravey Remix) - La Roux

This song is currently playing non-stop in my head.  I rather enjoy it.  Maybe you will too.

NO, I didn't misspell it

To whom it may concern, I did not error when I titled this blog.  Though currently my last name is spelled Madera, it pays no tribute to my ancestry.  My grandpa fought in WWII.  While there he changed the spelling of his last name from Madeira to Madera.  I am currently unsure as to why he changed it.  I only know that I am not hispanic, I am Portuguese.  As such, I decided to title this blog with my last name as it should be; the Portuguese way.  The dog tags I wear around my neck have my grandpa's name as it used to be on them.  These tags were worn by him when he was fired at by a panzer (read: tank).  They saw a considerable amount of Europe, including Italy, another country where I trace my ancestry.  Who knows how many bullets flew past my grandpa as he wore these dog tags--any one of which, could have prevented my existence.  I consider these dog tags a link to my past; a past I didn't live, but I frequently ponder.  I am convinced that one cannot know where they are going till they know where they have come from.  


Alpha is the greek name assigned to the first letter of the greek alphabet.  This is my inaugural post, hence the title.  In this blog I reserve the right to random.  You can expect to read whatever happens to be running through my mind at any given time.  Enough talk.  In the begining............