Saturday, May 8, 2010

A few things "fashionable" that I hate

A little known thing about me: I love fashion. In high school two girls who were friends of mine told me they wanted to marry me because my last name sounded like it would be a great designer brand. Their joke prompted a brainstorm in me, and a closet fascination with fashion. I read constantly about it and I critique so many little things I see on a daily basis. So I think I'll start putting some of my thoughts here. So without further ado; a few fashionable things I hate:

#1 glasses that cover half of your face. Bug eyes aren't attractive on bugs, why would they be on you? Wear these if you are ugly as a bug:

#2 Gladiator Sandals
Not cute at all, go back to 500B.C. Greece. Wear these if you want a starring role in the second 300 movie.

#3 massive curving nails
I don't think I have to explain this one. Don't wear nails that extend past your finger longer than half the distance from your nail-bed to tip of finger. French manicure=good look. Whatever the F#$@ this is=terrible

#4 Giant Handbag/purses
Do you want to seem like a bitch? You hold on to one of these and you certainly will.

#5 Fringe bags (with one exception: Prada Napa Fringe Hobo, the original)
Cousin It called, he wants his bag back. Lose it. Burn it. Shred it. Unless you wan't to look like some modern day American Indian who recycled big-foot's moccasins and made a purse.

#6 Headbands/Hairbands. Now before you get irate and throw a brick through my window, let me distinguish between a cute headband and a ugly one. Cute headbands are not bulky or obtrusive, they do not hide your hair or make your forehead manifest itself in a garage door sort of way (now you see me, now you don't). Something is to be said for how a headband is worn too. Don't wear it in such a way as to pull all your hair out of your face and make the shape of your skull immediately evident. Or worse still, wear it in such a way that your hair balloons out around it giving your head a misshapen appearance. A headband should be subtle, sexy, and soft.

Cute headband (however, see #1):

Ugly headbands:

There are so many other things I hate but I need some sleep so here are a few to avoid for now.


  1. Other than you being a man and me being a woman...according to our minds, we are basically the same person. Agree with all above comments. Regarding these so lame gladiator sandals. The last time they were popular (say late 80's or early 90's) I hated them so this time around I keep wondering if people are finding them at thrift shops? (I love thrift shops but sometimes you need to let the dog out and not let him back in if you know what I'm sayin.) These are hideous. They look lame, cheap and totally uncomfortable.

  2. Jessie, there was a period back in the early/mid-90s (yes, I'm dating myself) when the chicas of PB were all wearing the headband (variety: cute). Good times!!!