Fashion; finally (Fashion NO NOs)

Well I know I profess to talk about fashion on this here blog, but I've done a lousy job thus far of discussing even the most basic of trends. So today we rectify this injustice! I hope to bring my sardonic wit to bear on a few of my least loved pieces of "cutie" couture.

1) Thong platform sandals. If you're short and you want to look tall: wear heels. Otherwise you should just jump off of a really tall platform somewhere. This is of course assuming you don't want to look like you stepped out of a trailer. Maybe that's why these were invented, to make the step from the trailer to the ground less arduous for meth head trailer trash. My apologies, that was staring in my face the whole time.



2) Bedazzling. This trend is sad and pathetic. Fashion should never include glue and kid's art supplies. The only time this is okay is on Paris Hilton's phone. We already know she's a sparkly whore so she needs to advertise.



Also! This doesn't count! These are sexy and not tacky:


3) Circular framed sunglasses. These are heinous, we're talking warcrimes ugly. If you're a girl (or guy in my opinion) do you really want John Lennon to be what you look like? That's what I thought. Here are pictures as evidence of the uglyness. Wear sunglasses to shield your eyes from the horror (do I need to repeat this-not round sunglasses).

Uncanny resemblance no?


What a babe!