Pros and cons of inebriation

Pros:
incredible dance moves (at least you thought so before the youtube video)
increased flexibility (minor joint damage)
increased vocabulary (lots of neologisms)
instantaneous confidence (and instant rejection)
the ability to turn every sidewalk into a catwalk
intense curiosity
magnificent ability to start conversations you have no intention of finishing
unreasonable interest in the banalities of furniture despite ignoring it while in locomotion

Cons:
Waking up with a concussion
Unexplained bruises all over your legs
Dirt in your bed
Random trinkets in your pockets
Text message records
Porcelain god
Policemen lacking a sense of humor
Calories
Doughnuts (see above)