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I decided, in fact when my developmental psychology teacher asked me to respond: "In one thoughtful paragraph express your opinion on whether Chua deserves the criticism she has received OR is there merit to her parenting approach." this was my response:
Before I address Amy Chua’s parenting style, I would like to mention how blatantly racist I found the article. Lumping numerous ethnic groups together and calling them “Western” seems almost as wrong as assuming that all Chinese parent in the manner described by Chua. So while I support the goals of the Chua (not necessarily Chinese) method, I balk at the cost. It is indeed possible to teach children about hard work, perseverance, excellent study habits, and excellence in general without employing abusive language and harsh punishment. I personally find the “western” approach more effective in the long term due to the development of intrinsic motivation through encouraging the interests of our children. I question the long-term effectiveness of the Chua method because I feel like her children are still under her household and therefore her external motivation. When her children move out, I suspect their intrinsic motivation may wane due to the removal of the threats and punishments. Many American children are encouraged to succeed, and encouraged to not lose sight of more important characteristics like teamwork and social skills, even in failure. Sports teach these American values, and are not a waste of time, as Chua seems to imply. I believe the harsh criticism Chua has received is warranted. Verbal abuse is still abuse, and the ends do not justify the means because the emotional/psychological cost may be very high. Many Asian cultures encourage humility and suppression of emotions, and one possible result is a statistically higher incidence of several psychological disorders. Chua is endangering her children by creating a hostile psychological environment that not only perpetuates success; it also perpetuates abuse, as evidenced by Chua herself.
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Re: "I personally find the “western” approach more effective in the long term due to the development of intrinsic motivation through encouraging the interests of our children"
ReplyDeleteNumerous studies have shown that America is falling behind in many categories, particularly education. While I am by no means supporting Mrs. Chua, I don't think there are any substantial grounds for your claim that the "western" approach is more effective. Also, while I am absolutely against any type of child abuse, the "western" approach to parenting has become increasingly more lax, devoid of any and all punishment. Parents must still prepare their children for the real world (which is not such a nice place), and removing punishment and verbal rebukes is no way to do this. Of course, I am playing devil's advocate, but I hope that you see my point. As one final point: you call Mrs. Chua racist for grouping different ethnic groups together, yet she acknowledges the risk of generalizing the 2 approaches. I believe that because she states this upfront, then it becomes ok to use these generalizations; her characterization of the typical "Western" and "Chinese" parents are not terribly far from the average person's generalization.
I concur completely with what you are saying about the complete lack of punishment prevalent here in America. What I am advocating is a healthy medium between captivity (the Chua prisoner method of parenting), and cosseting (the newer American parenting style).
ReplyDeleteWhen I say "more effective" I am considering so much more than academics and work performance. I value well rounded people who are as socially and morally competent as they are cognitively competent. The parenting style of Chua is far from holistic, the "American" style at the bare minimum exposes children to a broad range of activities which cultivate the mind in ways not quantifiable with standardized testing.
watching the video gives an interesting contrast to the article; it seems much less cold.
ReplyDeleteChua's article/book is shocking, but i think that giving a clear look into another culture can be very shocking most of the time bc we simply do not understand. she says in the video that her father told her to "never disgrace him again" after she got 2nd place in a history contest. but what she heard was, "I believe in you, you can do better. You are the greatest."
You said, "I personally find the “western” approach more effective in the long term due to the development of intrinsic motivation through encouraging the interests of our children," but have you really looked at enough parenting methods to make that claim?
I'm not claiming to be an expert, although I have taken a couple child development classes now and I feel confident that her methods wouldn't earn her a gold star in any of them. I am however, insisting that Amy Chua is harming her children by having such a narrow scope of acceptable interests. Piano or violin? No theater? These seem like they aren't really cultural traditions, more just the nuances of a deranged matriarch.
ReplyDeleteWhat concerns me further, is the fact that she seems slightly less cold in person. She's an ivy league professor. I expect her to be charming, witty, and persuasive. She is none of the above in person or on paper. I'd hate to see her behind closed doors.
You're so harsh! "Deranged matriarch," haha. However I agree about the piano and violin only is BS and how rude that she doesn't care about sports. NO SPORTS?!
ReplyDeleteSorry, I'm a product of an italian/irish upbringing (that was pretty strict overall, but sports were definitely an approved activity), so I am equal parts lover and fighter. I guess Amy Chua gets the fighter.
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